“妈妈，你这是写的什么呀？”
“程序”
“这里面的字我都认识，但是放在一起， it does't make sense”
函函还是趴在一旁努力看着，
“哦，this one makes sense,” 函函高兴地念道：
// Total ranked users should be zero on an empty leader board.
--函哪，你也不想想，如果这玩意儿太 make sense 了，妈妈还怎么出去混呀。
Monday, April 30, 2007
Sunday, April 22, 2007
Class Meeting
One day my teacher Mrs. Best called the class together on the blue carpet for a class meeting. It had been about half a year ago since the meeting before this one had been held.
Mrs. Best had noticed that despite the school motto, Respect and Responsibility, people were not following them at all. So she held this meeting after months of disrespect.
"I don't know what's wrong with Room 3," said Mrs. Best as she took off her glasses and rubbed her red nose. "This class has been disrespectful to their teacher, their classmates, and everyone around them."
"Not me," I thought. "I rarely act rude at school, maybe never before."
"We don't call each other names, make fun of them, or anything of that sort," Mrs. Best continued. "We don't do these thing AT ALL."
"Right," I thought. "Who was mischievous during school?"
"For instance, bad words were used." I raised my hand. "Hannah."
"I've heard the "I" word and the "S" word several times at recess," I declared. "Spell them." someone said. "I-D-I-O-T and S-T-U-P-I-D." Someone else gasped. "Yes," Mrs. Best agreed. "Stupid and idiot have been said. I also heard the word "cyclone" being used." My first grade friend's hand shot up. "Addie."
"My mom trains CCI dogs, sometimes known as "puppy patrol," said Addie. "But some people have called it "poopy patrol" and it makes me feel bad." A few boys giggled. "Poopy patrol!" one of them mimicked rudely.
"Boys," Mrs. Best said sternly. "This is not funny. You shouldn't make fun of what other people do." She turned to Addie. "Addie, were they students in our class?" "Yes." the girl replied.
The meeting went on about how to behave. Everyone had at least one thing they noticed that they don't like, even Mrs. Best. Sandra told about how some people point their middle at her and how people make a slashing motion across their throat and then point at her. That was a threat. It definitely showed disrespect.
Diego told about how he was being made fun of his language and my best friend Kendall shared a time when she was playing at a toy called "the bar" when it filled up. Then a bully marched up to her and said: "Get off the bar or else I'll push you down." "You have to count for her," Kendall's friend Allison said, standing up for her. The bully, being infuriated, spat at Allison in her pretty face, leaving her drenched at the cheek.
I was hooked at this story. Allison must have been brave, for no one had ever stood up to the bully like that, declaring their own rights.
The meeting ended when time ran out. I liked it more than any other meeting before. This was a meeting of respect and responsibility.
-by Hannah
Mrs. Best had noticed that despite the school motto, Respect and Responsibility, people were not following them at all. So she held this meeting after months of disrespect.
"I don't know what's wrong with Room 3," said Mrs. Best as she took off her glasses and rubbed her red nose. "This class has been disrespectful to their teacher, their classmates, and everyone around them."
"Not me," I thought. "I rarely act rude at school, maybe never before."
"We don't call each other names, make fun of them, or anything of that sort," Mrs. Best continued. "We don't do these thing AT ALL."
"Right," I thought. "Who was mischievous during school?"
"For instance, bad words were used." I raised my hand. "Hannah."
"I've heard the "I" word and the "S" word several times at recess," I declared. "Spell them." someone said. "I-D-I-O-T and S-T-U-P-I-D." Someone else gasped. "Yes," Mrs. Best agreed. "Stupid and idiot have been said. I also heard the word "cyclone" being used." My first grade friend's hand shot up. "Addie."
"My mom trains CCI dogs, sometimes known as "puppy patrol," said Addie. "But some people have called it "poopy patrol" and it makes me feel bad." A few boys giggled. "Poopy patrol!" one of them mimicked rudely.
"Boys," Mrs. Best said sternly. "This is not funny. You shouldn't make fun of what other people do." She turned to Addie. "Addie, were they students in our class?" "Yes." the girl replied.
The meeting went on about how to behave. Everyone had at least one thing they noticed that they don't like, even Mrs. Best. Sandra told about how some people point their middle at her and how people make a slashing motion across their throat and then point at her. That was a threat. It definitely showed disrespect.
Diego told about how he was being made fun of his language and my best friend Kendall shared a time when she was playing at a toy called "the bar" when it filled up. Then a bully marched up to her and said: "Get off the bar or else I'll push you down." "You have to count for her," Kendall's friend Allison said, standing up for her. The bully, being infuriated, spat at Allison in her pretty face, leaving her drenched at the cheek.
I was hooked at this story. Allison must have been brave, for no one had ever stood up to the bully like that, declaring their own rights.
The meeting ended when time ran out. I liked it more than any other meeting before. This was a meeting of respect and responsibility.
-by Hannah
Saturday, April 14, 2007
年龄
“妹妹，你几岁啦？”
“Three! “ 还伸出三根嫩嫩的手指，一根也不多，一根也不少，
“那，妈妈几岁啦？”
歪着头想了半秒钟，妹妹很自信的回答“Four! " 并且又掰出来一根手指，
“Nope, Mom is one year !" 爸爸纠正道，
“No~ "妹妹微笑着摇摇头，“(If) Mom is one year, Mom will go down ” 妹妹比划着" go down", 心里没准还想着：Silly ol' Daddy!
想起这么一出，那是几十万年前罢，2 cavemen 比谁说的数字大，
cave#1: 2!
cave#2 琢磨了半晌，终于说出了：3！
cave#1 绞尽脑汁之后，不得不承认：你赢了。
妹妹比他们强一筹。
“Three! “ 还伸出三根嫩嫩的手指，一根也不多，一根也不少，
“那，妈妈几岁啦？”
歪着头想了半秒钟，妹妹很自信的回答“Four! " 并且又掰出来一根手指，
“Nope, Mom is one year !" 爸爸纠正道，
“No~ "妹妹微笑着摇摇头，“(If) Mom is one year, Mom will go down ” 妹妹比划着" go down", 心里没准还想着：Silly ol' Daddy!
想起这么一出，那是几十万年前罢，2 cavemen 比谁说的数字大，
cave#1: 2!
cave#2 琢磨了半晌，终于说出了：3！
cave#1 绞尽脑汁之后，不得不承认：你赢了。
妹妹比他们强一筹。
A Series of Funny Jokes or Riddles
1. What happened to the cow who went for a drive?
2. What do elves use to make sandwiches?
3. Why do bees have sticky hair?
4. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
5. What has 2 banks but no money?
6. As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives. Each wife had 7 sacks, each sack had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 gnats. How many were going to St. Ives?
7. Where do fish get money?
8. What do you get if you cross a cow with a frog?
Answers:
1. It got a moo-ving violation!
2. Shortbread.
3. Because they use honeycombs!
4. FSH.
5. A river.
6. 1.
7. At the river bank!
8. A bullfrog.
2. What do elves use to make sandwiches?
3. Why do bees have sticky hair?
4. What do you call a fish with no eyes?
5. What has 2 banks but no money?
6. As I was going to St. Ives, I met a man with 7 wives. Each wife had 7 sacks, each sack had 7 cats. Each cat had 7 gnats. How many were going to St. Ives?
7. Where do fish get money?
8. What do you get if you cross a cow with a frog?
Answers:
1. It got a moo-ving violation!
2. Shortbread.
3. Because they use honeycombs!
4. FSH.
5. A river.
6. 1.
7. At the river bank!
8. A bullfrog.
Friday, April 13, 2007
狼奔豕突的日子
PA! 门关上了，我和妹妹站在门外，兜里没有钥匙，函函和爸爸已经走了，这是一个星期五的早晨。
前前后后上上下下打量房子，那是苍蝇也插翅难飞进去，只好把 Daddy 十几迈外的 call 回来。
再一次整装出发，送妹妹上学，向学校又买了10张 extended care vouchers , 一天用一张可以用两星期直到五月份妹妹转到离上班地方近的学校。一车飚出了3，4迈之后想起学校秘书说一张 sheet $106，然后递给我一张 sheet 和两张零散的，便要乐俺180，这中间的算术有些不对劲，一时又想不清，边开车边翻出 voucher 来一数，8张，少了两张，只好又转回学校去，人家道了歉，同时说，我走后她也很快发现了自己的错误，我打个电话过去就可以了，用不着再跑一趟云云，惭愧自己小心眼了，不是很信任别人。
已经9:45了，想想早上俺是不到 7 点就挣扎着起来忙活的吗，不禁有些些茫然，七上八下的都忙些啥去了涅我。
给自个儿望闻听诊，脑子是有轻度缺氧贫血的症状，便告诫自己：开车小心哦，别撞哪儿了。
BINGO!
还真撞上了，还是牛高马大的浅色的四轮驱动，赶紧下车罢，道歉罢，一年轻漂亮精致的女士下车来，粗粗飘了眼，摆摆手没事啦，她自个赶紧跳上车走了， 她倒是像个 hit & run.
按回去扑通跳的心，深吸一口气，又告诫自己，只要不开到湖里去就可以啦。
And BINGO!
这回美好的愿望实现了，虽已没剩多少气力让资本家抽血了，但也不算俺的错了。
唯一内疚的是，晚间回去时，才发现车头瘪了巴掌大的一块，虽然当时我也没发现对方车子有什么损坏，但当时我只注意看了驾驶员那一边，其实撞的是乘客那边。
这一连串的事儿都是因为钥匙没放在应该放的地方而引起的连锁反应。
The moral of the story is : stay orgnized, save your life.
前前后后上上下下打量房子，那是苍蝇也插翅难飞进去，只好把 Daddy 十几迈外的 call 回来。
再一次整装出发，送妹妹上学，向学校又买了10张 extended care vouchers , 一天用一张可以用两星期直到五月份妹妹转到离上班地方近的学校。一车飚出了3，4迈之后想起学校秘书说一张 sheet $106，然后递给我一张 sheet 和两张零散的，便要乐俺180，这中间的算术有些不对劲，一时又想不清，边开车边翻出 voucher 来一数，8张，少了两张，只好又转回学校去，人家道了歉，同时说，我走后她也很快发现了自己的错误，我打个电话过去就可以了，用不着再跑一趟云云，惭愧自己小心眼了，不是很信任别人。
已经9:45了，想想早上俺是不到 7 点就挣扎着起来忙活的吗，不禁有些些茫然，七上八下的都忙些啥去了涅我。
给自个儿望闻听诊，脑子是有轻度缺氧贫血的症状，便告诫自己：开车小心哦，别撞哪儿了。
BINGO!
还真撞上了，还是牛高马大的浅色的四轮驱动，赶紧下车罢，道歉罢，一年轻漂亮精致的女士下车来，粗粗飘了眼，摆摆手没事啦，她自个赶紧跳上车走了， 她倒是像个 hit & run.
按回去扑通跳的心，深吸一口气，又告诫自己，只要不开到湖里去就可以啦。
And BINGO!
这回美好的愿望实现了，虽已没剩多少气力让资本家抽血了，但也不算俺的错了。
唯一内疚的是，晚间回去时，才发现车头瘪了巴掌大的一块，虽然当时我也没发现对方车子有什么损坏，但当时我只注意看了驾驶员那一边，其实撞的是乘客那边。
这一连串的事儿都是因为钥匙没放在应该放的地方而引起的连锁反应。
The moral of the story is : stay orgnized, save your life.
Sunday, April 8, 2007
健康追星——有感于杨丽娟一事
大好的周六晚，本镜追踪杨丽娟追星刘德华，闹得家破人亡事件，有舆论提出“健康追星”的新概念。镜以为这健康追星至少可以有两种形式：
１。“不洗手”型，与偶像握了手，星夜赶回家乡，再与志同道合者一一握手，把偶像的余温传递下去，如当年红卫兵见毛主席；
２。“ebay ” 型，如当年小克在俺家门口的 Costco 签字售书，星夜搭帐篷门外侯着，挨到面对面时，机智风趣点，没准捞一个像“William Jefferson Clinton” 的签名，ebay上可以卖到 5,000 美刀的好价钱——须知一般的 Bill Clinton 的签名不过一两百刀。
镜子很同情刘德华。镜子认为，华仔的敬业精神与 Tiger Woods 有一拼。 但凡镜子做不来的，有人做到了，镜子都是衷心佩服的，当然，精神上出问题的人所作的惊世之举除外。
１。“不洗手”型，与偶像握了手，星夜赶回家乡，再与志同道合者一一握手，把偶像的余温传递下去，如当年红卫兵见毛主席；
２。“ebay ” 型，如当年小克在俺家门口的 Costco 签字售书，星夜搭帐篷门外侯着，挨到面对面时，机智风趣点，没准捞一个像“William Jefferson Clinton” 的签名，ebay上可以卖到 5,000 美刀的好价钱——须知一般的 Bill Clinton 的签名不过一两百刀。
镜子很同情刘德华。镜子认为，华仔的敬业精神与 Tiger Woods 有一拼。 但凡镜子做不来的，有人做到了，镜子都是衷心佩服的，当然，精神上出问题的人所作的惊世之举除外。
悬念
For some reason， 函函推了 Daddy 一把，妹妹一旁见了, 转过脸来对我说“Hannah shouldn't push daddy like this." 还比划了一下，
大家一齐刷刷掉过头看着函函，函函又嚷了句什么，我现在已经忘了，
“Hannah shouldn't say that." 妹妹又指出，爹妈大眼瞪小眼，抿着嘴继续保持沉默。
睡觉前妈妈陪妹妹，爸爸陪姐姐，等妈妈脱身出来时，Daddy 也正好从姐姐的房间出来，笑嘻嘻道：“姐姐刚才伤心了，说如果有一个 time machine，可以回到过去的话————”
“后悔啦？觉得自己刚才太 rude 了吧。”妈妈见怪不怪，这种“如果”反映了小蹄子性格中的一个重要特点。
“她说，”伊意味深长的坏笑道，“如果可以回到过去，Mo 没有还弄丢的时候……"
!#$%^&* 是妈妈当时心里涌过的想法。顿了一秒半，妈妈有点醒悟了，
“切，那你笑那么开心干什么？”遂事不关己高高挂起绝尘而去。
大家一齐刷刷掉过头看着函函，函函又嚷了句什么，我现在已经忘了，
“Hannah shouldn't say that." 妹妹又指出，爹妈大眼瞪小眼，抿着嘴继续保持沉默。
睡觉前妈妈陪妹妹，爸爸陪姐姐，等妈妈脱身出来时，Daddy 也正好从姐姐的房间出来，笑嘻嘻道：“姐姐刚才伤心了，说如果有一个 time machine，可以回到过去的话————”
“后悔啦？觉得自己刚才太 rude 了吧。”妈妈见怪不怪，这种“如果”反映了小蹄子性格中的一个重要特点。
“她说，”伊意味深长的坏笑道，“如果可以回到过去，Mo 没有还弄丢的时候……"
!#$%^&* 是妈妈当时心里涌过的想法。顿了一秒半，妈妈有点醒悟了，
“切，那你笑那么开心干什么？”遂事不关己高高挂起绝尘而去。
An English Lady
晚餐桌上，函函谈起了 how lucky she is not being an English lady.
"吃饭不能这样吃，坐不能这样坐，走路要这样走”干脆离了桌踱起步来。
" I'm going to pretend that I'm an English lady ."
当时，俺左边坐着函函，右边坐着妹妹，函函话语刚落，整个世界~~清静了，继而觉得左右两边感应很不对称，来自左边的压力 刷! 的一下就消失了，斜眼瞟瞟这位 lady 同学，樱嘴半开泯下一滴汤，很有嚼劲的羊排在樱嘴里无声无息的嚼着咽着，好像在吃棉花糖，如此这般过了三两分钟，俺的神经得到了一次意外的松弛，很受用, 于是真心说道，
“我觉得做一个 English lady 也没什么不好的呀。”
“I know. But it's too hard for me. ”
——well, not to me.
"吃饭不能这样吃，坐不能这样坐，走路要这样走”干脆离了桌踱起步来。
" I'm going to pretend that I'm an English lady ."
当时，俺左边坐着函函，右边坐着妹妹，函函话语刚落，整个世界~~清静了，继而觉得左右两边感应很不对称，来自左边的压力 刷! 的一下就消失了，斜眼瞟瞟这位 lady 同学，樱嘴半开泯下一滴汤，很有嚼劲的羊排在樱嘴里无声无息的嚼着咽着，好像在吃棉花糖，如此这般过了三两分钟，俺的神经得到了一次意外的松弛，很受用, 于是真心说道，
“我觉得做一个 English lady 也没什么不好的呀。”
“I know. But it's too hard for me. ”
——well, not to me.
Critical Thinking
车上。函函给大家出抢答题：
“People get more rainy days in weekends, true or false?"
"False!" 妈妈抢先答道.
"No, it's true. In weekends there are more cars in streets and it causes more carbon dioxide and smoke"
"哦，我是觉得怎么一到周末就爱下雨呢，原来还真是这么回事，还有科学根据呢。”妈妈恍然，“咦，不过从来 weekday 堵车，周末从来没堵过呀，weekday 应该有更多的车吧。”
“Come on, Mom!" 函函不满我的刁难。
“不能这样，函函，这是很重要的，这叫 Critical thinking，在工作中也是很有用的。”爸爸一旁严肃的训导，函函不吱声了。
“其实还是周末车多，你想啊， In weekday, 只有上下班高峰期两三个小时车多，其余时间还是蛮冷清的，周末一整天到处都是车，虽没多到堵车的地步，也很多了，所以总体来说还是周末多”妈妈又灵机了一把.
——如此训练下去，乖乖隆滴咚，函函高中毕业就可以混进至少像微软这样的公司鸟。
“People get more rainy days in weekends, true or false?"
"False!" 妈妈抢先答道.
"No, it's true. In weekends there are more cars in streets and it causes more carbon dioxide and smoke"
"哦，我是觉得怎么一到周末就爱下雨呢，原来还真是这么回事，还有科学根据呢。”妈妈恍然，“咦，不过从来 weekday 堵车，周末从来没堵过呀，weekday 应该有更多的车吧。”
“Come on, Mom!" 函函不满我的刁难。
“不能这样，函函，这是很重要的，这叫 Critical thinking，在工作中也是很有用的。”爸爸一旁严肃的训导，函函不吱声了。
“其实还是周末车多，你想啊， In weekday, 只有上下班高峰期两三个小时车多，其余时间还是蛮冷清的，周末一整天到处都是车，虽没多到堵车的地步，也很多了，所以总体来说还是周末多”妈妈又灵机了一把.
——如此训练下去，乖乖隆滴咚，函函高中毕业就可以混进至少像微软这样的公司鸟。